If dealing with your own poo sends shivers down your spine, especially after last nights vindaloo, then this job certainly isn't for you. Actually, it probably isn't for most people, however much they like their own 'samples'.
Being a Sewage Inspector isn't for the faint hearted, or indeed those with over active smell senses.
Apparently, you do get used o the smell, but is that really a good thing? I doubt that, I certainly haven't got used to some of my smells, so how someone gets used to this is beyond me. Not only does it stink, but you are knee high in other people's shit. Don't lose your balance and fall over, you might choke on a dung ball!
What could be worse? Well, how about rats, dirty, great big rats. Carrying guns. OK, so they don't carry guns, but they do carry diseases. And they have big tails, which just look nasty.
So while you're on all fours looking for cracked pipes (that's cracked pipes, not crack pipes! I haven't found that job advert yet.), you can rue the day you told the career advisor to go and get a real job, just like you did.
God only knows what happens when your son asks to join you on work experience!
Thursday, 10 April 2008
Thursday, 3 April 2008
Crab -u-like
OK, so lets move forward to the present day. Being a crab fisherman might not be that 'disgusting', certainly compared to some jobs. But the shear intensity of the work is mind numbing.
What do you work, 9 to 5, at worse? Well, because of the short fishing period available to fish for crabs, the crab fishermen put in 21 hour shifts, just so you can get that bit of crab paste on to a nice sandwich, or whatever you do with crab, I don't like it.
And before you start thinking that it doesn't actually sound that bad, think about this. The fatality rate of these fishermen can be up to 30 times normal, depending on where they fish. That's because of the extreme weather conditions, where falling overboard is all too common.
Imagine you had to sit at your desk and do your normal job, but with high winds, waves splashing your face and if you fall over, you is dead. So just imagine that and someone slapping you round the head with a bit of haddock (just for fun!) and you get a small glimpse into the life, maybe a short life, or a crab fisherman.
Why do they do it? Madness? Possibly. No choice, maybe? Money, well of course.
You'll be washing that fish smell from your pits for weeks, but if you survive, you'll have money to burn, maybe a nice fish supper, if you can stand to see, let alone eat another fishy meal!
What do you work, 9 to 5, at worse? Well, because of the short fishing period available to fish for crabs, the crab fishermen put in 21 hour shifts, just so you can get that bit of crab paste on to a nice sandwich, or whatever you do with crab, I don't like it.
And before you start thinking that it doesn't actually sound that bad, think about this. The fatality rate of these fishermen can be up to 30 times normal, depending on where they fish. That's because of the extreme weather conditions, where falling overboard is all too common.
Imagine you had to sit at your desk and do your normal job, but with high winds, waves splashing your face and if you fall over, you is dead. So just imagine that and someone slapping you round the head with a bit of haddock (just for fun!) and you get a small glimpse into the life, maybe a short life, or a crab fisherman.
Why do they do it? Madness? Possibly. No choice, maybe? Money, well of course.
You'll be washing that fish smell from your pits for weeks, but if you survive, you'll have money to burn, maybe a nice fish supper, if you can stand to see, let alone eat another fishy meal!
Saturday, 8 March 2008
Vomit vultures
OK, so let's start by going back to the days of the great Roman Empire. This is a job that you couldn't even make up if you'd tried.
You remember your history lessons, or indeed watched any of the televised Roman dramas, you can't have missed the vast amounts of food that they consumed.
And what happens when you consume too much food? That's right, you throw up. And do you think the great Roman Empire wants puke all over the floor? No, so lets hire some poor bastard to clean up after we throw up!
Now, they don't just throw up where they sit, well not always. Some diners were privileged enough to have their own room in which to puke in, now there's a facilities managers job gone crazy, I don't see that on a check list of conference rooms these days. Maybe they need to revisit that option, as some of the conferences I've been to have left me very queasy!
Now, it may sound awful that these poor souls have to mop up the fine 'mashed carrots' of there leaders (and / or owners!), but at least they got a roof over their heads and a warm place to sleep. I'm sure it didn't half stink though!
Are you sure you wouldn't rather work in an office than clean up some puke? Answers on a post card please!
You remember your history lessons, or indeed watched any of the televised Roman dramas, you can't have missed the vast amounts of food that they consumed.
And what happens when you consume too much food? That's right, you throw up. And do you think the great Roman Empire wants puke all over the floor? No, so lets hire some poor bastard to clean up after we throw up!
Now, they don't just throw up where they sit, well not always. Some diners were privileged enough to have their own room in which to puke in, now there's a facilities managers job gone crazy, I don't see that on a check list of conference rooms these days. Maybe they need to revisit that option, as some of the conferences I've been to have left me very queasy!
Now, it may sound awful that these poor souls have to mop up the fine 'mashed carrots' of there leaders (and / or owners!), but at least they got a roof over their heads and a warm place to sleep. I'm sure it didn't half stink though!
Are you sure you wouldn't rather work in an office than clean up some puke? Answers on a post card please!
Monday, 3 March 2008
You think you've got it bad?
Let me tell you how easy you really do have it!
We al know that everyone thinks they have a rubbish, dead end, hate your boss job. With the office idiot (someone else's 'Uncle Nobhead'!) doing your head in everyday and the facet that it feels like ground hog day, no wonder you feel down.
But, let me show you just how different it could be, let me put that smile back on your face, even before you've started drinking.
I give you 101 jobs, past, present and err....future? Well, maybe.
We al know that everyone thinks they have a rubbish, dead end, hate your boss job. With the office idiot (someone else's 'Uncle Nobhead'!) doing your head in everyday and the facet that it feels like ground hog day, no wonder you feel down.
But, let me show you just how different it could be, let me put that smile back on your face, even before you've started drinking.
I give you 101 jobs, past, present and err....future? Well, maybe.
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